Harris and I went fishing here on the farm last week. Fishing, unlike most activities now days requires the second ingredient I look for in “good soil,” the ability to delay/defer gratification. Delayed gratification, like work ethic, is not a natural instinct and must be taught…the earlier…the better.In this fast paced world we live in, the ability or willingness to delay gratification is rare. Microwaves, fast-food, and 4G phones are all signs of the times. The entire reason credit cards exist is because we can’t wait till we get paid to buy that “thing we must have.” We are so impatient and have very little self-control! I’m guilty too, I get upset if a website takes more than 5 seconds to download, if I’m stuck in a drive-thru for more than 5 minutes and if I make an impulse buy, I grieve later with buyers remorse. However, the ability to delay gratification with the really important things like relationships, finances and career is necessary for “good soil.” I personally believe that a person’s ability to delay gratification is the single greatest indicator of whether that person will be successful in life. (Further evidence in the Stanford Marshmallow Study).
As a parent, it’s my job to help make “good soil” out of my children. I am very intentional about not allowing my children to have everything they want, when they want it. One of the best places to train/teach deferred gratification is on the toy isle at the store. Let them look and pick out things they like, then talk to them about earning money by doing chores to buy it or wait to get it for their birthday or Christmas. One may call this is torture, I call it love! Also, when they ask for sweets, instead of saying “no,” say, “you can have 1 now or you can have 2 if you eat all your supper.”
As an employer, I look for this “ingredient” in emerging leaders. By learning more about their relationships, finances and career goals, I’m able to coach them when they become impatient and help them continue to delay gratification until the time is right. It’s pretty easy to identify those that don’t have the ability or willingness to defer, they usually have things they can’t afford and display a sense of entitlement.
(If you didn’t get this “ingredient” at a young age, it will require a lot of discipline and self-control. Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University is about the best thing I’ve seen to help adults with developing delayed gratification.)
My Disclaimer: I will share a lot of things I’ve learned over the years that will help you lead others, but it’s impossible to master enough principles to completely get on top of life, we were designed to need God; walk with Him daily, learn to hear His Voice, and He will direct your path.
Amen Brother .. Good read and God will surely direct our paths if we acknowledge Him .